Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this story below are those of its respective author and do not necessarily reflect Breakup.ie. If you will find any examples of analysis performed within this article please take them with a pinch of salt as they are only examples and therefore they should not be utilised in real-world analytic products as they are based only on very limited and dated open source information.
I have been single as long as bread’s been around, I’ve been there, done it all and chose the highway when it came to forming new relationships. Almost 10 years ago in 2010 after the housing bubble burst in Ireland, I suffered from a relationship breakup shortly thereafter when my partner of nearly 5 years decided to call it quits by breaking up with me in a bid to hook up and later go out with my best friend.
Without a doubt, it was one of the saddest and the grimmest time of my life, the whole country was suffering from the financial crisis there was no certainty, so it seemed. I stopped counting after I scored and downed the 100th tub of my favorite Haagen Daz strawberry and cheesecake icecream within 3 months after I had broken up, some days I ate 2 tubs, I was putting on weight like Jessica Simpson and before you ask, I knew exactly what chicken was as compared to tuna and no it wasn’t a “chicken of the sea.”
Back in those days, being an estate agent wasn’t easy, sure it was to do with the banks that led to the crash of the housing market but I didn’t care about that, I treated my job as a job, it was what it was, when I’d come home all I cared about was the food.
Three years had passed, until one night I was getting ready for an early night sleep, it was a saturday night (yes that’s right) when I got a text message from my so-called best friend saying, “Hey I know I hurt you and I don’t expect you to text back but I just wanted you to know that Shane had just moved to Australia last week and we are no longer together, is there any way I could make up to you, if so please do text me back!”
If we were friends and she had broken up with her boyfriend I would’ve gone to the moon and back to comfort her but she had done a runner on me after stealing my boyfriend that’s one sin most girls regardless of their colour, race nationality simply can never let go of.
All I could think was KARMA is after biting her on the ass and she can’t take it, it was as if I didn’t exist when she was with him and as soon as he did a runner on her she expected me to run over to her. Hell no, I said to myself.
I was laying in bed feeling excited and my level of excitement was going up by the minute, I don’t know what came over me and next thing I knew I was playing and pleasuring myself that lasted all the way up until I reached the point of no return and then it happened, I had the most intense, and shaky orgasm. The shock waves of my spasm shot both ways simultaneously starting from my “Marys” going towards to my head as well as my toes in sync, I was hypnotised, all over the news of my lousy ex moving away to Australia and my frienemy being able to taste something similar to what I had experienced back then.
I knew for a fact that I was never going to get in touch with her for two reasons 1) I could never trust her again and 2) she had lost the respect that I had for her years ago, trust and respect are the two things that are very difficult to rebuild once they are gone, in my opinion, it’s a lot less work to start fresh with a stranger than to work on rebuilding trust and respect in your relationship.
I woke up a brand new person on early Sunday morning and there was no question in my mind that I wanted to be healthy again, I wanted to get back to my old self, like the way I used to be before my relationship, there was no room for the toxicity or drama in my life, I rang my friend and asked to meet up for lunch at Nandos in Blanchardstown Shopping Centre.
Later on that day we were sitting across from one another telling each other stories and all of a sudden she said: “I know you’ve met someone, your face is glowing.”
I told her the truth about my “explosive orgasm” that I had was like never before, it’s not that I didn’t pleasure myself before that, masturbating isn’t something only reserved for men but women masturbate too in some cases it’s more often than men and it’s completely normal.
When I was going back home, it hit me, maybe I need a man, there was no harm in putting myself out there after all the online dating was something completely new to me, therefore, it needed a bit of practice, as far as I was concerned I was still an online dating virgin.
My research started once I got back home, the first site I joined was none other than “Plenty of Fish” or POF as it’s called now.
I wasn’t even on it for an hour before I started to get messages, frankly, it felt great but my happiness was short-lived and I found myself talking being hounded by “weirdos” asking me if I could show them my “Knockers” others wanted to know I was down for some “no strings fun” some of them asked me what I thought of “Dogging” this term was completely new to me back then, I was a bit “old school” and thanks for the knowledge!
Plenty of Fish is the deep web of dating!
Soon I found my self at the end of my rope when the messages turned abusive over me not complying with their sexual fantasies of either fucking me hardcore or seeing me in the nip.
I exchanged numbers with one guy after talking for three months, I thought he was pretty normal, you would’ve thought the same if you were me. We only had regular conversations, almost every day until I trusted him enough before inviting him over for the weekend. He was from Kildare so I knew he would be staying overnight, when I told him he seemed excited we chatted a few more days up until the weekend.
I was excited and told my two close friends all about it and they were looking forward to having a few drinks with him later on in the evening.
In the afternoon he texted me saying he will be getting the bus at 5:00 PM will I let him put it in my ass?
Words can’t describe my feelings and shock that I felt after receiving that text! The truth is if he hadn’t said that and we clicked after meeting one another I might have tried it but only if it had come on spontaneously.
However, his text was a complete deal-breaker, after I told him that I won’t be having sex with him for the first time we meet, his demeanor changed and I was left wondering who I was talking to all that length of time?
Fast forward, I hit the GYM hard shortly after that and started working out, over time I lost weight and extended my dating online presence, only this time it was on apps like Tinder, and Bimble.
When it comes to dating apps technology has played a crucial role and allowed these apps to turn innovation into reality, it’s all about “swiping” nowadays and to tell you the truth although I love the fact that mutual match is needed before you are able to start a conversation but at the same Tinder has implemented some very complex algorithm in that it works for people who are getting the most swipes which is why you hear most men are always complaining about those with good looks getting at the attention from women on tinder.
What do you do? You look for alternatives!
Recently I came across a Facebook ad for an Irish dating app ello.ie and downloaded their IOS app and took it for a test drive. I was blown away, it seemed and performed better than tinder, a bit of digging and I discovered the app is just over 3 months old but it already has 100’s of users mostly from Dublin which suggests their facebook ads are specifically targeting Dublin.
Nevertheless, It’s a very straight forward app like tinder but without tinders algorithm and fees.
I made a few friends on it including this guy that I like a bit more than the rest but I can’t be sure, it’s a virtual world after all as they say in one of their own blog www.ello.ie/stories/
You can never be sure unless you have met in person, there are a million things that can go wrong at the last minute.
#Quick Recap On Dating Apps:
Bear in mind that my opinion is based on my own interactions within the Apps itself and their availability in the Irish market, also my findings are in no particular order.
They boast of having 300 Million plus users but their Irish userbase is less than 0.5% of their 300 Million users. A lot of users complain about bots and overall members are not always of the highest standards.
FREE: No (limited functionality)
Badoo Website: www.badoo.com
Badoo iOS App: https://apps.apple.com/ie/app/id351331194
Badoo Blog: https://badoo.com/team/press/
Badoo Help: https://badoo.com/help/
Tinder is no stranger when it comes to Irish users, it has a steady supply of Irish based users but matching with them and getting to talk to them in a normal fashion is another story, a story that’s rather left unfinished due to its infamous ghosting members.
FREE: No (limited functionality)
Tinder Website: www.tinder.com
Tinder Android App: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.tinder
Tinder Blog: https://blog.gotinder.com/
Tinder Help: https://www.help.tinder.com/
This is my personal favourite, it’s fairly new with a good number of users although keep in mind that the app is currently only available to Irish users, I am not sure of their plans for the extension. I have made a lot of friends on it but you can check it for yourself.
FREE: Yes (no catches)
Ello.ie Website: www.ello.ie/
Ello.ie Android App: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.brains.ello
Ello.ie Stories & Blog: https://www.ello.ie/stories/
Ello.ie Help: https://www.ello.ie/stories/help/
I have no idea how this site claims to be the number 1 Irish dating site, with 0 social media presence, the site seems like it was launched back in the days when my father was looking for my mother and this is how they met, time and technology has moved on since but the site remained stuck in back in the 80’s
Also when I signed up to the site it asked me to get onto €24.95 right away to use it in full or else search for other members for free or enjoy sending them winks but to send and receive messages back and forth you need to pay, I can only assume 99% of not all their members are interested in sending winks to one another rather than a full-on conversation due to the limitations on the site, a quick test revealed the quality of users are unbelievably poor (that’s my opinion you can do your own search and make up your own mind).
FREE: No (can’t do much without paying)
Anotherfriend.com Website: www.anotherfriend.com
Anotherfriend.com Android App: None
Anotherfriend.com iOS: None
Anotherfriend.com Blog: None
Anotherfriend.com Help: None
POF (Plenty of Fish)
On my ending note, I must acknowledge that I have had my fair share of dating apps and by far plenty of fish falls in the same category as anotherfriend.com except that its base functionality is not as limited as anotherfriend.com and POF does have its Apps, blog and help center but the quality of men on this app is shocking, to say the least, if however; I describe them as “weirdos” that would surely be a compliment to many for what they truly are so by far this was my worst experience was with POF now I understand why its dubbed as “Plenty of Freaks!” and so it seems like those who cannot get in the apps like tinder, badoo, ello.ie, you are sure enough to find them either on anotherfriend.com or POF.
Although I would like to hear men’s opinions of this subject when it comes to finding women online to date, what apps are the best and what are the worst ones that you have come across? Share your experiences, I will look forward to it, I think breakup.ie is the best thing that happened to me, it allowed me to voice my opinion and share it with locals, not that I can’t do it but I couldn’t do it in a way that I am able to do it on it.
FREE: No (However, you can contact people)
Plenty Of Fish Website: www.pof.com
Plenty Of Fish Android App: www.pof.com
Plenty Of Fish IOS App: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/plenty-of-fish-dating/id389638243
Plenty Of Fish Android App: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.pof.android
Plenty Of Fish Blog: https://blog.pof.com/
Plenty Of Fish Help: https://pof.com/HelpCenter/helpcenter_faq
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