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Let me tell you something intimate about myself, I regularly flagellate my body with my mind in front of a mirror, it’s a womanly thing regardless of how fit and/or perfect you are, you always know the secrets behind your perfect flawless looks that other don’t get to see.
When I look at myself I think my chin looks a little weak, my thighs are getting fatter, my boobs look a bit saggy-ish as compared to the way they looked just a week ago and my hips are getting wider, although I feel somewhat comfortable with the way I look while at the same time wishing and striving towards perfection.
Earlier on tonight, while I was taking a bath sipping on prosecco I kept thinking about myself why do I always body shame myself right in front of a mirror every day (and sometimes twice a day)?
Sadly, I am not alone, most women are regular culprits of this very act. Most of my friends (that are women) can’t seem to help doing it either, especially those who are single, especially those that get ghosted after being chatted to for weeks.
So, just because every woman self shames, does that mean just being a woman means that we should accept body shaming for better or worse? Absolutely Not!
Personal body-shaming does a lot more harm than you may realise, and letting yourself fall into this practice time and again is essentially allowing an unhealthy social disease to take roots to the point that it seems like a womanly thing, a thing that happens to every woman and a thing that is rather thought of as normal by most women out there.
I got so sick and tired of it that I decided to put it out there so others like you can read and get value out of this.
I believe you can only achieve the highest goals that your own confidence and/or self-image allows you to.
We are all born with a clean slate, natural non-judgemental and non-bias brains and as we grow we tend to get a multitude of thoughts, words and images drilled into our heads by none other than our friends, family, classmates, teachers and the media these days.
Those who were poor while growing up might be inclined to have money problems. Those with fat, obese or overweight parents might have issues with their eating habits at an early age.
Those who were mature late might have issues and insecurities that go as far back as showering after gym class.
Talking about our physical appearance, we all go through a tough time at some point in our lives with the way we feel and our body looks, more importantly how others perceive us.
Most models would tell you their side of the story how they were bullied in school for being tall, awkward and too thin.
That big muscular guy that you spotted on the street could have been picked on in school before he vowed to himself never to let that happen again.
Looking at yourself in the mirror and seeing someone completely different while at the same time wondering how did this happen?
How can you change these negative thoughts that trigger negative emotions in you and replace them with happier and more positive thoughts giving a more satisfying life and your overall existence?
We look at ourselves in the mirror and see someone totally different.
How does this happen?
Why does this happen?
More importantly, how do we change these negative thought patterns for a happier and more satisfying existence?
Let me tell you a bit about my childhood what it was like when I was growing up.
So I was raised by a mother who was overweight and a father who was a complete narcissist and the biggest liar I’ve ever met to date.
Watching my mother battle with her weight was rather painful, while at the same time witnessing my father preying upon her weakness was even more brutal.
My father would come up with horrible comments like, “I will take ye all to McDonalds myself once your mom comes off her new diet,”
He’d unleash his horrible mental abuse on her when she would lose weight and start feeling better about herself, he would say, “Damn you still look like a pig who hasn’t eaten in days.”
It gives me goosebumps thinking back how hard she would cry. These statements, be it from strangers, children at school or worse, a narcissistic abusive husband, leave deep emotional scars.
I’m not advocating that one can’t overcome this, they most certainly can. My mother has, she’s a healthy beautiful 67-year-old queen.
These deep scar tissue can be life-lasting and in order to remove such scars, you must do so with surgical precision.
To prevent the same scar from re-appearing you must prevent what had caused that deep wound in the first place.
I would like to share what I have learned from helping people just like you, if you want to lose weight, get lean and get your body into that shape than you ever thought was possible, you must get rid of the negative scar tissue that took hold of how you perceive your thoughts over the years (in some cases lifetime).
Let’s start this with positive self-talk, trust me it will feel weird at the beginning like everything else does when you first start, but you will get over it rather quickly. With that said you will no longer think or say this to yourself.
I don’t like my [bodypart] and/or myself
I just look at food and put on weight.
I’ve tried it all and nothing seems to works.
I know what to do, I just can’t bring myself to do it.
I hate salads, they are for animals.
I am too old to exercise or I just don’t like the exercise.
The list can go on and on!
Sadly, there will always be people out there who are capable of body-shaming us to tears just like my father did hundreds of times to my mother and there is nothing we can do except ignore it and move on because we know and understand our self better. We know, nobody’s perfect.
So no more body shaming ourselves, no more putting ourselves down with negative self-talk.
Once we get that stop, our true journey begins right there.
“I know you are ready, I can tell… And yes I’m ready too.”
We can help one another. Your success is my success!